Expectations when dating

The only expectation for a first (or any date) that seems to be useful is to make the deepest connection possible/comfortable with our partner. This means we may be silly, playful, introspective, analytic, etc. This connection is made through dialog instead of monolog. "Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men" provides many questions to identify her Kosmic Address, and these questions are useful, but they should not lead for the date to turn into a job interview. Men often think that they need to sell themselves by doing most of the talking (as suggested by Pick Up Artists). And women often encourage this by asking their date one question after the other, only to complain afterwards that the guy was not interested in her. Men who become ware of this sometimes turn the table and start to ask many questions. And then women complains that she felt like she was on a job interview. Hence the idea of communication (with its root in communion), a back and forth that creates mutual understanding and intimacy (into-me-you-see) through verbal exchange. 

Men often write about love through fantasy

Bell Hooks writes in All About Love:

“Men often write about love through fantasy, through what they imagine is possible rather than what they concretely know. I want to know about the meaning of love beyond the realm of fantasy—beyond what we imagine can happen. I want to know love’s truths as we live them”.

I wonder if I have fallen on the side of this fantasy (or as I would call it my “vision”) or if I have evolved to a stage where I stay fully open to "love beyond the realm of fantasy" and at the same time stay focused on my mission and purpose, instead of desperately trying to find a woman for an integral love relationship.  

Funny Video about the Ideal man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7ZrBCY9ipI&feature=related

Discussing 12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries

Hello:
This is my first post. You may have read the 12 Core Values for Integral Relationship Evolutionaries on www.integralrelationship.com and I invite you to give me your feedback or ask questions.

Thank you, Martin